I'm divorced; NOW WHAT? - Paperback

by Melvin Phillips (Author)

If you are reading this book, it means that you, or maybe someone close to you, are seriously considering divorce. Although there may be other reasons to read this book. The decision to get a divorce is never an easy one. Most people do not even begin to consider that possibility until they have tried every other option they can think of.

You should realize that getting a divorce is not a magic bullet that will solve your problems. It is better described as the process of trading in one set of problems for another. If you have children, you will still have to interact with your former spouse on a frequent basis probably for the rest of your life. Although child support may end when the last child graduates from high school, you will still run into your ex at various family functions which involve your children. People often think of divorce as a completely negative experience. They may believe they are a failure because they couldn't make their marriage work. But there are mental, emotional, financial, and other benefits of divorcing when you are in an unhappy marriage. Getting divorced is a life-changing event, but it doesn't need to be daunting. In fact, I'll share nine (9) positive effects following divorce. 1. It's liberating. You don't have to stay stuck in a relationship where your needs aren't being met. You can get out of abusive relationships and free yourself from daily stress and anxiety. 2. It's hopeful. Leaving a bad relationship opens the way to a new, healthy relationship. "I had this vision of what I truly wanted, but first, I had to stop and figure out my part in the breakdown of my marriage." You have the time and opportunity to find and build a successful relationship. 3. You can grow into your true self or reclaim the person you were before marriage. Couples change as they grow older and sometimes grow apart. Staying in a bad relationship can restrict your growth. 4. You get stronger. For those who married young, the divorce provided the opportunity to learn that you could survive and thrive on your own. 5. You are independent, free to make decisions for your life that (Probably) weren't possible in the marriage. 6. You're different now. The choices you made as a younger person may not be the choices that you would make today. You have changed how you see the person you married. 7. For the kids... One reason people stay in bad marriages is "for the kids." Leaving the trauma of a bad marriage benefits your kids, especially when they have witnessed arguments or abuse.