Friends With Your Mind: How to Stop Torturing Yourself With Your Thoughts - Paperback

by Scott Kiloby (Foreword by), Lynn Fraser (Author)

"This is the kind of book that I truly love - one that is very simple and direct with easy to understand instructions that one can translate into his or her own experience almost immediately. Notice how Lynn is breaking down experience into its simplest parts and then really look into your own experience to verify that she has given you a map to suffering and how to heal it. This book can do more than help you stop torturing yourself with thoughts. It can help you come to accept and love your entire experience." Scott Kiloby, Founder of the Living Inquiries You opened this book because your thoughts are torturing you and you want to end your suffering. This book will help you understand your mind, body, and nervous system. Knowing how a system works makes it possible to apply an effective remedy when something goes wrong. We develop troubling patterns in response to experiences of fear and stress. They do not have to be permanent. As you work with the simple, powerful practices in this book, you begin to experience life without fear and it becomes possible to relax your vigilance. You discover you are not alone, that you have support, and you can learn how to do this. I know this to be true from my own direct experience and with other people. Healing is possible and it is worth it. Twenty-five years ago my shoulders were like cement from chronic stress. I was shut down emotionally. My thinking was compulsive as I tried in vain to control outer circumstances and people so I could feel better. I developed PTSD in 2005 after I was assaulted. I healed from it and I am now strong and resilient. This book is based on twenty years of teaching meditation and on the Living Inquiries, a form of mindfulness self-inquiry with which we look at how our thoughts and feelings are Velcroed together creating identification, fear or compulsion. Natural Rest is an ongoing invitation to relax and notice there is a simple, restful awareness here in every moment. This book is organized into short chapters on specific subjects so you can go right to where you need support - from catastrophic "what-if" thinking to a racing mind that is keeping you awake at night. Many of our thoughts are based on associations with our past experiences and memories. Our brains and nervous systems are hard-wired to notice danger. Activation in our survival system is the origin of much of our fearful and anxious thinking. There are simple ways to work with daily life issues like fear of flying or social anxiety. Breathing out for six seconds activates our relaxation response. You can put that tip to work right away by singing, counting or lengthening your exhalation. You can make friends with your own mind. Friendliness and inner strength are the foundation for a healthy, fulfilling life. They are the key to freeing yourself from the torture of your thoughts and experiencing a new, more fulfilling way of living. "She has been in the combat zone and come back to report the way out. Let Lynn show you a less constricted way to feel, to see, to be. It is peace she offers, with a smile." Colette Kelso "You will feel safe with Lynn." Jerry Katz "Lynn describes how even intense feelings and disturbing thought patterns can be unwound when we know how to do so safely." Fiona Robertson "Lynn explains how to heal yourself from anxiety, trauma and just the everyday experience of believing our stressful thoughts. This book provides easy to follow explanations and instructions." Dr Kay Vogt "Lynn speaks from experience. Her dedication and compassion in assisting people to free themselves is boundless." Fiona Murphy "Lynn uses clear and simple techniques to help us finally get out of our heads and into the moment." Chad Sewich "She is a master at becoming intimate with how our thinking and nervous system works and making positive change, replacing confusion with confidence." Sutra Ray Robinson

Author Biography

Cement shoulders. Shut down emotionally. Go-to strategies: denial, minimizing and numbing. In a perpetual state of freeze (fight/flight/freeze system) from Developmental Trauma and later PTSD. A fearful mind with racing thoughts and frantic attempts to control and find safety. Feeling unseen and unloved. Fast forward 25 years. I see and love myself. I am authentic and connect deeply. My body is relaxed and a known space. Trauma largely healed and resolved. I am mostly free of reactivity and I have skills to work with thought (words, images) and sensation. I know from experience I can be with whatever is arising in this space and time. I feel, at 64, that I am now an emotionally mature adult. Lynn Fraser is a senior meditation and yoga teacher in the Himalayan Yoga Meditation tradition; and a Senior Facilitator of the Living Inquiries and Natural Rest. She brings the depth and richness of twenty years experience teaching meditation and yoga philosophy to her work. She specializes in holding a safe and trusted space for healing trauma in her private Living Inquiries and group online sessions with individuals. Lynn lives near family, the ocean and forest in Nova Scotia Canada. She teaches in Halifax/Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada. Her teaching features an integrated approach of relaxation, asana, pranayama, meditation and philosophy for every day life. She is a certified Himalayan Institute Ayurveda Yoga Specialist. Lynn supports people healing from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and other traumas through meditation, yoga therapy and mindfulness inquiry. "Lynn's is a voice you can trust, laying it all out in a simple yet profound approach to changing one's relationship to thought, and seeing how it can both contribute to and exacerbate the experience of trauma." Colette Kelso "I'm grateful for Lynn's sensitivity, integrity and skill as she holds the space for me to feel the fear I've unknowingly avoided my entire life. Lynn's gentle intelligent guidance through the Living Inquiries has helped release the Velcro that kept my thoughts welded to my gut-wrenching feelings. That welding, that Velcro drove my self-defeating behaviour. Anyone considering this work could only benefit from Lynn's compassion and expertise." Lane "Lynn has an incredible aptitude for teaching, facilitating the Inquiries and, last but not least, offering connection and hope. I'm very grateful for the work we have done together." S