Aftermath of a Narcissist! - Paperback

by Paisley Swindon (Author)

What I thought was my journey through a relationship where infidelity was common turned out to be so much more. My goal was to maybe help anyone else living this life feel not so alone.It wasn't until due to my husband's behavior we ended up in jail, that he was diagnosed by the prison psychiatrist as a narcissistic sociopath. Well if you are anything like me I didn't even know what a narcissist truly was. My understanding to this point was a big ego and it's all about him. Well that's only the tip of the ice burg. In this sequel to my first book, I will be setting out the "red flags" to watch for as well as traits of a narcissist and I will be referencing different things that were said and done to me during my 26 years with this man I loved, that at the time didn't make sense to me, but now does. Now that my marriage is over and I am in the middle of a messy divorce I will try to explain what was behind the issues in my marriage to a narcissist now that I see it for what it was.I am far from healed from this abuse but am doing my best with what I have. I had no idea you could become addicted to another human being. It is very true however and this is the goal of the narcissist. They generally pick strong women, which I was when he met me, as was his first wife. They take all of that away from you over time. He did to me. I was told by my Dr. and from a closed narcissistic abuse group I am involved in that breaking an addiction to a narcissist is harder than coming off heroin. From all I have read I am told the only way to break this addiction is to go no contact. At this point I am at the beginning of recovery and I have not done so well with this. He refuses contact with me if I initiate it as he moved on immediately, however, if he wants to text or call me if I go no contact for two long then that's ok in his mind and I will explain throughout, why that is. I've learned through group and through a lot of reading that a narcissist is not capable of a lot of emotions we take for granted. That is why they find us so alluring and attractive. They want from us what they do not possess. They are not capable of feeling love, empathy, regret, guilt, remorse and see no reason to seek forgiveness as they take absolutely no responsibility for any of their inappropriate behavior. It is always someone else's fault but theirs. Always and completely.I have learned what it's like to be an emotional wreck as most of you going through this journey with me are also feeling. A person can feel so many emotions and sometimes all at once. Anger, hurt, sadness, loneliness, fear, anxiety, bitterness, jealousy, inferiority, helplessness, hopeless, numb, depressed, suicidal, betrayal, mistrust, longing, ashamed, guilty, embarrassed, a failure, broken, unfixable, defensive, overly sensitive, then hope but it's taken away again, some joy coming through as you get stronger, some hope, some faith, appreciative of what you still have and love for those that are still there when you are hard to be around.Firstly, I will set out the "red flags" that you may be in love with a narcissist. Secondly, I go into detail about the traits of a narcissist that I had to learn the hard way. In each trait, I will quote actual events set out in detail from my journals in my first book "Love Conquers All?" Secondly, I will set out the traits of a narcissist and included in each trait I will quote specific things that were said and done to me which you can read in detail in Volume 1 Love Conquers All?Thirdly, I will take you on my healing journal from my journals beginning from where I left off in Love Conquers All? At the end of this book I will set out steps needed for us to heal and love again.Included will be an article written by Melanie Tonia Evans entitled Is The Narcissist Capable of "Loving?" Let's get on with the next step in our journey shall we?